


Grace

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: Rare Ships Creation Challenge [24]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: I kind of hate myself for writing this..., M/M, Magical Angel Semen, S9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 07:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10985949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Sam spent months possessed by an angel.  It left traces of grace within him.  Not enough, but maybe enough.Maybe enough to save Castiel's life.Companion piece toScars





	Grace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [under_a_grey_cloud](https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_a_grey_cloud/gifts).



> Written for Rare Ships Creation Challenge Round 9: Colors
> 
> Prompt: Celestial Blue (#7070CC)
> 
> Gifted to Under_a_grey_cloud because she asked for more of "Scars", which gave me the idea for what to do with this.

Sam had been so relieved to see Castiel alive after the great fall. Human, but alive. Having Castiel close made him feel safe. It was ironic, considering how much of his trauma was related to the angel, but he couldn’t help himself. He loved Castiel and it just felt right, having him in the Bunker.

So when he woke up to find that Castiel had left, it sucked. He wanted to track down their friend. Even if Castiel didn’t want to stay in the Bunker, he could at least stay close enough for Dean and Sam to protect him. He felt sick at the idea of Castiel out there on his own, and sicker at the thought that Dean had just let him go.

Since that night, Sam’s dreams were haunted by celestial blue. Specifically, the blue of Castiel’s eyes, only more ethereal. Sometimes, even when he was awake, he thought he saw everything through that blue filter. It was odd. It happened most often when he started losing time. That bothered him, but Dean didn’t seem worried about it, so Sam tried not to.

When that subtle celestial blue tinge to everything became permanent, that should have been a sign to him. It wasn’t. He didn’t realize what was going on until Crowley was in his head, telling him about the angel Dean had let possess him. Sam had a million questions about this whole thing, but they could all wait. The first thing was he needed Crowley and Gadreel out of what was supposed to be _his_ head, his body.

Castiel was there, and an angel again. God, how much had Sam missed over the last few months? How long had Castiel been an angel?

Dean walked out, and Sam didn’t try to stop him. He needed the time away from Dean. He assumed Castiel would go with Dean, or go deal with the angel problems that had driven him to steal another angel’s grace, but Castiel stayed with him. He explained it as Sam needing healing from the forcible removal of Gadreel.

Sam didn’t like Castiel using grace on him, not if there was a chance it could kill him. Castiel said he was being careful, but he also admitted he didn’t know how long this would last or what would happen if his grace burned out before Sam was healed.

“Cas? Can I ask you something?”

“Technically, you just did.”

Sam chuckled. He deserved that. “After April, why did you leave?”

“Dean said it wasn’t safe if I stayed. The angels would track me here, and cause trouble for us all.”

Sam’s fists clenched, and he forced himself to relax them. “That’s bullshit, Cas. The only reason we didn’t lock this place down against angels is because that would lock you out too. If you were human, there’d be nothing to stop us. Where could possibly be safer for you?”

“Knowing what we do now, that it was Gadreel and not Ezekiel, I suspect Gadreel gave Dean a choice. I left, or he would. I don’t know what your state was at the time, but if Gadreel told Dean that you would not survive Gadreel’s departure…”

“Dean would have chosen to kick you out to protect me. I’m so sorry, Cas. I should have fought him harder. Should’ve made him tell me the truth. He said you left to protect us from the angels.”

“I have to say I’m a little surprised that no angels came hunting you down anyway. What better way to draw me out than to attack you?”

“Yeah, that’s another thing that bugged me about it. We’re stronger together.”

“Then why did you let Dean go?” Cas asked.

Sam sighed. “Because… honestly, right now I’m so pissed at him I’m not sure he is safer with me than with Crowley or whoever else he’s gonna run into out there. I’ll get over it, eventually. It’ll help if he can acknowledge that what he did to me was wrong.”

 

After the angel-tracking spell failed, Sam took some time to think. It must have been more time than he’d thought, because a worried Castiel came looking for him. “Sam?”

“Cas. Hey. How are you feeling, after the emergency heal you had to do on me?”

“I’m… weak, but not terribly so. I am in no more danger of dying anytime soon than I was before. Even if I were, you can’t ask me to sit back and watch you die when I have the power to save you. I can’t do it.”

Sam closed his book and looked up at his friend. “Cas…”

Castiel held up a hand. “I’m not going to go making stupid deals, but would you think even once before jumping in front of a bullet for your brother?”

“That wasn’t where I was going. I just got thinking, and this is really, really weird and probably worthless, but you’d have a better chance of knowing anything about it than I do.”

“Oh. What is it?”

“Angel possession leaves pieces of grace behind, right? The grace bonds to the vessel somehow?”

“Right. We just used that to try to find Gadreel. I’m sorry it didn’t work.”

“Me too. But see, I was thinking… back during the Apocalypse, I started researching Nephilim.”

“Sam, you know…”

“I know. That was never a concern for us and if it had been we’d have done things differently. But, see, we didn’t. In order to get grace into the Nephilim, it has to be contained in your semen, doesn’t it?”

“Yes…”

“And I have had a lot of that in me over the last few years. Is it possible that I have traces of your grace in me?”

“No… wait.” Castiel reached out, putting two fingers to Sam’s temple. “Yes. It is possible, and you do. But Sam, if there wasn’t enough of Gadreel’s to extract for the spell…”

“We don’t need the spell! Having your own grace, shouldn’t that be enough to keep you alive even if you do end up burning through the stolen grace? It buys us time to find Metatron and make him tell us if there’s anything left!”

“But removing Gadreel’s grace…”

Sam shook his head, cutting him off. “Reverted me to the state I was in before his healing. You weren’t doing anything with your grace. It shouldn’t hurt me to take it out.”

Castiel hesitated, but eventually nodded. “Not tonight. Tomorrow, when I’ve rested. We can try.”

 

The celestial blue light swirled in the vial. There wasn’t much, but there was enough. Sam could see the difference in Castiel as he took it into himself.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from. I'm sorry.


End file.
